By showing diversity and openly talking about our experiences and insecurities we can change the way we look at our bodies – and the bodies of others - The Vulva Gallery
What is the vulva?
The vulva is the exterior of the genitalia. It's the lovely, flappy, squiggly bits on the outside of the sex organ. It is made up of the Mons pubis (pubic hair area), inner labia and outer labia (the lips), the clitoris ("clit") and the clitoral hood, the urethral opening (where the pee comes out), the vaginal opening, the hymen, Skene’s glands, Bartholin’s glands, and pubic hair.
The vulva is not the vagina, and although the vaginal opening is part of the vulva, the vagina is not. The Vagina is the internal passage between the vulva and the uterus (although not everyone with a vulva has a uterus).
So, the outer part of the genitalia is not called the vagina, it has its own name: the vulva. Or, as kids we might have called it the "mini", or the "foofi" or the "fairy"... I think it's important that we use the proper words, it doesn't have to be awkward and uncomfortable. It's anatomy people.
We deserve to feel comfortable with our bodies.
Part of getting comfortable with our bodies is learning about them.
When I was in my early teens, my Mum suggested that I take a closer look at myself, get a hand mirror, and just have a good look. So, I did. I pulled bits to the side, looked at the different parts, and tbh I had no idea what a lot of it was or what it was called!
For the most part of my teenage years, I hated my vulva. I thought it was ugly. I looked forward to the day that I could get surgery and have the longer bits cut off because it was messy. I have memories of squeezing the inner labia so tight to see if it would go numb, then I'd consider getting a pair of scissors to cut it off. I hated it. I hated part of myself.
I thought vulvas were supposed to be tucked in and neat. Until discovering @thevulvagallery on Instagram, I thought I was abnormal.
It turns out, more than half of all vulvas have inner labia that are longer than the outer labia!
Vulvas are incredibly diverse. Just by taking a look at The Vulva Gallery, you can see just how varied everyone's vulvas are, and how much of a story everyone has.

'I feel that anatomical diversity should be a fundamental part of any book on anatomy, sexual health education or biology. Learning about diversity will create an understanding and respect for the diversity that's out there' - Hilde Atalanta, The Vulva Gallery
"Is my vulva normal?"
The answer: probably. There is a huge range of vulvas that fall into "normal". I'd definitely recommend having a look at @thevulvagallery on Instagram, and seeing how yours probably fits right in there with the rest of them.
As you learn about the diversity and see lots of different character expressions within each vulva, try to use more positive words to describe them.
My old vocabulary to describe my vulva: ugly, messy, dangly, weird, too long, too red, unattractive
I felt embarrassed, ashamed, sad, angry. I was legit angry at my body. lmao. Poor vulva. I found it difficult to relax when receiving oral or I flat out refused it. I used to feel very uncomfortable whenever a partner would describe my vulva: I would seize up and cringe, block my ears. I was less confident sexually, and I often submitted because I felt I didn't deserve pleasure down there.
THIS IS NOT OKAY, PEOPLE!!!
We deserve to feel confident and comfortable.
Feeling comfortable in our own skin, feeling comfortable with our vulvas, means we're more likely to tell our partners what we want sexually. We're more likely to relax, and when we relax, we CUM.
Suggested new vocabulary:
squiggly, lovely, unique, rosy, fleshy, pretty, decorated, interesting
You could even focus on what it feels like; soft, silky, squidgy
Although I'm still on my journey to loving every part of myself, I strongly recommend you make @thevulvagallery a part of your journey. You can buy Hilda's book, called A Celebration of Vulva Diversity, here. The hardback book has hundreds of lovely watercolour illustrations of vulvas, as well as loads of information on the anatomy.
Your journey might look a bit like this: hating > not condemning > accepting > loving
You can even find humour in it. Not gonna lie, they are weird. They are like Hiyata Steamed Buns you can get as a side in Wagamamas...
but who doesn't wanna eat that?
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